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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

hihi..
haven been blogging for quite some time now..busy with school work..yesterday conference call with Kristel and Ziqi.. was fun, but most of the time not really listening..tired..but really happy, get to talk to them. realised some things..
you have been lying to me all along, and for that i hate you..to think that i thought u were a nice person..guess i was wrong..never should have judge a book by its cover..
sigh..dun feel like going back to red cross..dun feel a sense of belonging there.. the feeling is back..it was same like last year..go back there, just feel like i am an extra..not like someone, whom everyone respects..me? some pple think i am transparent or something like that. wads the point of having achieve the highest rank? it doesn't do anything for me. respect have to be earned. i know that..but how do you go abt doing it? suddenly everything looks bleak at the moment. dun feel like doing anything..too tired? yah..everything i do just comes to nothing. so wad for try so hard?
just feel like crying..wad am i supposed to do? no wonder when i went back there a few days ago, i sense a feeling of dread..now i understand..dun feel like going back. just want to run away..suddenly, i feel so weak and useless..just wish the floor would open up and i would fall into a bottomless pit.
so sick, so tired..i dun want to be the one giving in anymore...dun wish to bother anymore.


8:21 PM
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