haven been blogging for the past few days.. sorry! was sick for the past few days. haha.
finally. went to see a doctor. while on the way there. i realized that Jigsaw Puzzle World, at JP, relocated to the basement there, connecting the new JP and old JP together there. which is a good thing. yay! i love jigsaws!
i have made up my mind. thanks for everything. i will come back whenever possible. take care everyone.
finally. got to talk to him. but it wasn't a very nice one. couldn't stop crying.
***,
when will you listen? why do you like to assume all the time? does it mean that when i start working, i won't be able to stop working and go study? the point here is for me to work and save up money so that i can go to MDIS, to pursue a course in psychology.
i know that if i want you to pay, u won't want to. and so i make things easier for you. all i need you to do is agree. i don't need you to help me pay, not even a single cent. i just want your approval. is that so hard?
why are you so bend on making my life difficult? first, u said i didn't discuss with you. now that i did, you turn a deaf ear. for god's sake. this is my life! i can always turn my back against you. but i did not. despite of all the things you have done.
Mum told me i should fight for my own rights. but how am i suppose to go around doing that? tie you to the chair, hold a knife to your face and threaten you? or better still. chase me away from this house. you don't have to. i will leave by myself. just say it!
i still hold the slightest respect for you. but u just blew it away. how could you? HOW COULD U SAY THAT?!!! FREAKING BASTARD! IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I ASK MYSELF 'WHY'. CAUSE U ARE CRAZY. U GONE INSANE! THAT'S WHY.
When you witness a crime, the fact that you didn't go forward to stop the crime from happening, you are as good as the criminal him or herself.
(i saw this phrase in a book, long ago. but i keep remembering this few sentences. though nt exact. couldn't rmbr which book it came from.)
P.s-i am starting to find myself at a loss of words.
thanks to all who listened to me when i was down. your listening ear was good enough. thanks for being there. =)
now you. you wanna declare a cold war? bring it on! washing my hands off you. why waste my time being nice to you.
everytime i ask u to lower your voice, u pretend to not hear me. yadda yadda yadda. hello. i am human. i got emotions. i am nt a ROBOT. who don't get mad no matter how bad you treat them. wtf.
i just looked at my o'level results. maybe nt just. an hour ago. saw it. and went, 'OH MY GOD?!' indeed.
after which, i told my Mum, and went into my room. locked the door. listened to the songs in my ipod on full blast. looked through the book of courses in polytechnics, etc.
after a while, i came out. and asked Mum. Me: Are you disappointed? Mum: No.What are you doing in the room just now? Me: Looking at the courses available. Why? You think i am going to hurt myself?
and then i told her abt NAFA, its a Arts School. and that i might quit school, and work and save money to go into MDIS. she agreed that since i dun have the heart to study in ITE, in biotechnology, i should quit school. and work. since i am that interested in psychology. but Dad confirm want me to finish my studies in ITE. and the problems begin again. ShiShi thinks i should finish my studies too. Don't do things halfway, she said. but hello? the certificate i received after graduating is nt a diploma cert.
yeah. whatever. its my life. and its not going to be easy to fight for my rights.
i am like exhausted, but i still find time to blog. haha. friday maybe going eat Sakae Sushi with May. muahahaha. sunday, depending on circumstances, bring Mum go Ma Maison eat.
its the 2nd day of the new year! i won't say i had a extremely good day at work, but thanks to colleagues, and Serenena, i feel better. =)
went to eat breakfast with Yeeling. after that, walked ard the new JP, and then went to work. was very surprised when i realised i reached at 11.20. sit outside of kino, and then while walking towards the restaurant, saw Douglas. ask me company him while he go smoke before going to work. reached. wasn't very tired throughout, but keep dropping stuff. went to the bank. came back, went for break.
and then blah blah blah. went home with Vernon. he came to eat at Ma Maison. lol. tired. night. byebye.
why why why why why. why do all this. you asshole.
why do you insist on degrading yourself. its already this low. (showing a teeny little bit.) you want to make it even lower? like on a scale of 1 to 10, it was 4. now 1. wtf.
dunno why.
first, i got stepped on by Douglas, then Linda (or was it Net?), then Alvin.
and then Vanessa stepped on my apron.
RAWR!!!
dunno why.
am i that quiet that they didn't realise i am behind them?
put me in a really bad mood.
anyway, while serving the diners at table 6,
they were having a good sense of humor.
haha.
anyway, while repeating their orders,
they said i speak too fast.
i repeat, slowing down.
and then they still said i was fast.
and then one of them said, its okay.
its the last day of the year, pple tend to go crazy.
and i said. no. i always speak like that.
and added, i am sane. LOL.
seriously.
yeah. after work, tried to send New Year messages.
failed. like wth? i tried frm 11.20 to 11.50.
still waiting. end up i cancel. and then went back home.
dun feel like going home though.
rang Yeeling and asked if i can go her house.
but i cant!! cause its late, and last bus is at 12.20am?
like, i reach, put 1 feet in, and then i have to turn around and walk back to the bus-stop.
HAHA. k. i am exaggerating.
yeah. went MAC to eat supper, all alone, by myself. HAHA. no la.
went home. talked to Mum, bathe.
and here i am. B-L-O-G-G-I-N-G.
haha. kk. gotta go.
tmr working 11.
cya.
bye.
